Please won't you be my (legally binding) Valentine? See below for the terms of this totally romantic and court enforceable offer.
Dear Valentine, (hereinafter referred to as "My One True Love")
WHEREAS, I am madly in love with My One True Love, it is herein proposed that My One True Love be also granted the title of "My Valentine". Now, therefore, My One True Love agrees to be bound to the present Valentine Agreement subject to the following terms and conditions hereto:
- REFLEXIVITY. My One True Love agrees to unilaterally bestow upon me the title of "My Valentine".
- EXCLUSIVITY. For the duration of this agreement, My One True Love may not enter in to a Valentine Agreement with other parties.
- DEMONSTRABILITY. Both parties agree to perform at least one (1) but no more than three (3) displays of public affection including, but not limited to, a kiss.
- DURATION AND SEVERABILITY. This Agreement is effective as of 12:00 noon on February 14th, 2012 and becomes null and void at such point that (a) Day in question ends awkwardly; OR (b) Both parties wake up together.
- ENTIRE AGREEMENT. The above covenants represent the entirety of the Valentine Agreement. Parties are not bound to any oral or written representations outside of this Agreement, including but not limited to (a) "Going steady"; (b) Meeting the parents of either party; (c) Holding hands. Further, this Agreement neither states nor implies financial obligations, especially with regards to dinner and drinks.